Critical Magic Live // Probability Praxis 4 of 28 // Waxing Crescent // Urban Spree Berlin 21.10.2016

HYENAZ with Interlocuters: ReveRso, Federica Dauri, and Valentin Tszin
Styling: Yeorg Kronnagel with Thea B Adora
Mix / Master: Bartlomiej Kuzniak
Camera and Edit: Akkamiau and Giordano Cioni
Additional Camera: Voin Kaiser
Thanks to Sylbee Kim and Nicolas Pelzer for the inception and to SPRINGSTOFF for believing in this project
probabilitypraxis.tumblr.com

show reflections

La Colonie, Paris,
France at MN³ w/ Polychrome – Society of Silence

PROBABILITY PRAXIS 9 of
28 – WAXING GIBBOUS

17 December 2016

translation is badly needed for french and german. As well that the people who act as interlocuters are told ahead of time that we would like them to speak ahead of time to people in their own language; I dont think its fair of me to spring this on them the night of the show. It is so important for this project to happen. We have to make links to people ahead of the show. We would like to make recordings of peoples intentions for change that we can live trigger during the show, but we are wondering about how to do this dynamically so that it is a smooth trigger of clean samples. Especially when there is a lot of
noise prior to the show how do we get samples that are clean enough.

We are living in a slippery place, a ritual, a show, a concert venue, an expectation of a theater. Not wanting to force anyone to do anything, not wanting to tell anyone how to participate. This is in a music venue for the most
part ,except that the show is long, that there is a lot of expectation of our audience. We have tried now several times to do the show n the club context and each time I have the impression that the show is just a little bit too long for some people, that they would like to duck out, that unless they are entirely swept under and with us, they fall detached, they wonder how to stay within this.

Every time we do this show, I do not finish with a sense of euphoria, I finish with a sense of critical awareness of how I have now achieved the best show possible. I finish with a sense that I am in unchartered territory, even that I might have bitten off more than I can chew. That I am trying something that is difficult and I am not really able to entirely pull it off. But I also finish with the distinct feeling that I should continue on, because so many people give me the
feedback that they felt it was incredible, sometimes the most amazing thing they have ever seen, sometimes that they think they needed it, that “something” in the room happened, that they experienced euphoria, that they felt transformed. So I continue on of course, I mean, we do. And I want to.

The ground feels fresh and fragile to me. I know that not everyone feels transformed, or even touched. I know that some people hate it. I know that some people feel alienated, or leave. But others feel transformed. Others
feel hopeful. Others at least feel that it is the right challenge to be taking on. They sometimes also offer constructive feedback. In this case, one person said it was too long, which confirmed a hunch of mine.

In answer to this we would like to ask that when we agree with a venue ahead of time that indeed we will do a full club show, that we take on the idea of fully
going into this … perhaps by opening with breathing (I did bring this consciously into my movement, but we are speaking of something even deeper, more conscientious). Then perhaps by going into yoga, or eating together, or having some other kind of meditative incantation.

I still feel that I havenot created a clear enough “entrance”, or “partition” into
the circle, an entry for the audience into the ritual. It is ratherthat I enter their space, not that we enter a fresh space together. I find this problematic. We have to work towards the goal of full immersion, which requires a level of volume, the project, the lights. One where we all feel taken inside a space. And the bar is not a distraction.

alfabus

Show Reflections – Paris 17.12

We felt, overwhelmingly, that we had performed well. We were pleased with ourselves, with what we had achieved. Our dancers were a strong support, we had an experience, we were with one another, and with our audience. It was a strong encounter.

We felt some limitations. Our goal with the ritual has always been to meld with, into the audience. We have achieved this, in our small gathering in the pilgrim’s shelter in Murgia in southern Italy, at our album launch, in Bologna, these were strong experiences. From our perspective though it requires a strengthening of our ability to shape the context of the ritual. We would like to share a communal meal, to re-enliven our bodies through stretching and yoga, to talk politics, economics, magic and spirituality
with those gathered in order that when the ritual begins, we have constituted something like a spiritual public.

More and more, with the limitations imposed by arriving at a club, establishing the ritual space, soundchecking, entering costume and make up and performing, there is no time available to perform this necessary being with others, and so there is an uneasy tension between the normal expectations of a live music event (to provide entertainment) and the broader goals of our ritual (to connect, to find empowerment, to embolden collective action).

We have begun to think that, perhaps we should demarcate our club performance from our ritual performance, and enact the ritual only where those who bring us to a space or a venue are able to provide the conditions and the time necessary to constitute a spiritual public.

xil

Reflections: Salzburg Open Mind festival – Probability Praxis 7 of 28 – Waxing Crescent

Salzburg Open Mind festival – Probability Praxis 7 of 28 – Waxing Crescent

There was a dark energy upon finishing, major exhaustion. I felt that I had failed to some degree. There was a silence in the air, and there was maintained the distance of audience and performer that i could not seem to penetrate. in the end i attempted to invite some irony into the room with my gaze, to see if anyone else was feeling the same. i could not be sure. “what a strange dynamic performance is, is it not?!”

i spoke to some people they said, it was very sexually aggressive and confronting. someone had recently seen a film about a commune that was mean to be sexually liberating but in actuality was defined by rules, requirements, manipulations, sexual exploitation. In an effort for everyone to remain “open”, there were requirements that no one fall in love, and always be constantly switching partners. The flip side portrayed in the film is terrifying.

This same person suggested that perhaps the performance was too much in/between form (choreography) and freedom. Perhaps as a result we achieved neither. I can see the possibility of this – that in subtle asking for participation, we try to exist in the grey zone. But perhaps this grey zone leaves people confused. I have always wanted to live in grey zones – I think they best portray the nature of reality. And yet I agree they are the most difficult to deal with.

It is true, that fascism has crossed my mind. There are moments in the choreography that even the waving of my arms has reminded me of a dictator, trying to get everyone to follow, to salute. I am scared of this. Yet this is a part of ritual, of a gathering, to attempt the idea at group movement, group choreography, sameness. For some, it brings about joy. At least this was the intention of the dance choreography we do in “White Light”. That stated, perhaps it is true – no ritual “needs” the moment of sameness. But then again – must all sameness be squashed in favor of complete freedom? The opportunity for not doing the choreography always exists as an expression of freedom. Should we therefore not even invite the possibility? I am swishing this about in my mind.

Regarding the presentation of sexuality, it is true that I feel free in my body, in my nudity, in the way that I play with my own body, that is so normalized to me that I no longer see it from the outside. How could I anyway, there is no “it”, the “outside” is so multiple, there are thousands of perspectives. I have thought before about the twerking, about whether pushing our asses into the air is too confronting. Whether, in certain contexts, I should be more aware of safe space, of asking permission, of consent. I have asked before, “can I touch you?” when even laying my hand on another person, let alone pushing my ass into them. Although as I say “let alone” I draw attention to the presumed distinction between types of touch, and I feel already we have heirarchised and categorized even the parts of our own bodies to enter absurdity. I feel skeptical of this absurdity. I feel that it does not always serve us well. I feel mixed about whether or not I want to exercise the act of asking about touch, at all times, in every situation. Are bodies really so different from one another? Is this towards a more fluid sense of unity across borders?

However I have no intention of alienation, of terrifying people. I think a few people were terrified. They said so. One person said, she wanted to leave, but felt that they could not, because they wanted to see until the end. What would happen. Another said they felt very dark.

There is a moment in the performance that we write about our intention.  I see in this light how this moment could be viewed ironically. That we state our intention and by stating it we point at how far we are from the actualization of it. Not just us as performers, as inviting magic, but as a society.

Since the last time we performed, Trump was elected and brought in a host of White Nationalists, or is planning to bring them, into the White House. We had been shouting before about Trump versus Clinton as the “binaries” we had as US citizens, to choose from. Rendering them meaningless. But the actuality of Trump is not “meaningless.” The difference is. But the unique instance is not.

I intend to embrace this sense of failure, of darkness. Sexuality alone is so hard to approach, because so many of us have experienced shame and trauma around our bodies, around sex. There are so many opportunities for the feeling of vulnerability and manipulation to arise. I dont want to run away from this, I want to engage and engage with sensitivity, and still be myself. I suppose there are many ways of asking for consent, and this task lies at the center. Consent and true actualization of dual commitment to a moment together. If no one wants to enter this with me, at least in a singular moment, I have to accept this and work with this. Our bodies are reflecting not only our own traumas but the traumas of the world.